Just Appetizers

Roots go deep and wide.

Things may start with a seed, but it is the depth of the roots that keep things growing.

Trees are fascinating in how tall they grow.

The taller the tree, the deeper the roots.

When we hear of roots we think about plants, trees etc.

I know that is the first image I have.

However within our life, we too can have roots.

Once we are born our parents or care takers plant within us seeds.

Some of us get seeds of love, affirmation and care.

Others may get rejection, abuse, neglect or abandonment.

No matter the seeds, there will be roots that grow.

Within the soul of my life I once had roots of rejection and abandonment.

I did not know they were there, but my fruit or behaviour displayed it.

Rejection roots make sure you always feel unwanted, and function in people pleasing.

Abandonment makes you the runner in life, always leaving them before they leave you.

Not being able to identify the source of our pain or actions we live it out in a cycle.

Years ago when I was still functioning under the cycle of rejection I would feel more sad than happy.

There was always that dark space that kept saying I wasn’t good enough for anything or anyone.

It wasn’t easy for people to detect my issues because I had created a functioning dysfunction.

I feared others not liking me, nor accepting me.

There was  not much I would not do people.

Pleasing people was a part of my dysfunction.

It pained me deeply to know I disappointed you.

Performance driven would best describe my dysfunctional patterns.

Rejection and abandonment were the origin of my life

Years later, I still marvel at how deep those roots were.

If a tree can grow deep roots for 10-20 years, what would that look like in a human being?

You hear people say just get over things, and move on.

The fact of life is that some areas you can definitely let go and move on if that is not your root.

Then there are those moments where you feel stuck but want to move on.

For me it was only God that could heal and love me through those dark times of pain.

You may not believe in God like me, but I needed God.

I needed to love myself, accept love, believe that others wanted me in their life, and stop looking for an escape route.

It all took time for the roots to be broken, pulled up, burned, whatever way you want to say it.

More than anything else I needed new fresh roots to live my life.

Roots of love, that allows me to function with right motives and truth.

No way near perfect is my life, but the peace I have been living with is priceless.

You see roots of bitterness, anger, jealousy, rejection, abuse and abandonment will torment you day and night.

Being able to wake up in my right mind, and make healthy decisions is such a gift.

You should have the same gift in your life.

The roots I mentioned are not all of them, but you may have identified with one or more.

Let me encourage you that you do not have to keep those origins.

It will take work, commitment and truth to break the source of your pain.

Are you ready to live beyond the dysfunction you created.

I am a living witness that your pain is rooted, but it is not eternal.

You can be free, live in peace and be happy.

It is your time for new seeds to be planted, and new roots to grow!