This morning on my walk I was reflecting on how I thought some areas in my life was going. There was one main thing I kept asking myself over and over and that was, “how are you really doing?”
It took a good moment to process through everything before getting the answer I needed. After I finished with my personal Q&A I heard myself saying this…Sybil you must keep asking the right questions. Then I giggled because I love asking questions for clarity but had to learn that it was not about asking questions but making sure to ask specific ones that formulate the answers needed.
In my twenties I asked so many questions I was beginning to sound like my toddlers; I would answer one question and then they would ask “WHY” over and over to each response, which also revealed curiosity but lack of understanding on their part.
As an adult we must become intentional to seek solutions, insight, and understanding when we pose a question. For some people it may sound like an inquiry, interrogation, or even a survey.
Here are a couple examples of getting to clarity when we need it.
QUESTION? How are you doing today? Answer: I am fine, thanks for asking. (generic question gets a generic answer)
Question: How have you been dealing with the changes during COVID-19 from March into the present? Answer: Since it all started I have been up and down, had so many things to figure out. Working from home was quite challenging but now I am in a good space and finally have a routine.
Of course some questions are generic and don’t require loads of details. I am referring to important facts about life, relationships, finances, health, mental wellness. If you don’t know something it is not good enough to fill up on information, we must have understanding.
I grew up when culture taught a child should be seen and not heard. If too many questions were asked to an adult it was seen as disrespect, or trying to be nosy. For some odd reasons back then some adults were annoyed with questions from a younger individual.
Today’s culture is not the same. Most people including parents encourage their children to ask questions and seek solutions.
Some of us are more curious than others so we ask ten times the amount of questions someone else may not. For example one person in the group may suggest taking a vacation and everyone agrees. Then the process of where, when, and price, or how long will come up. There will also be that one person who dissects the whole plan with questions after questions. Some times it is that one individual who gathers information and gets insight that leads to a great trip.
Before I close out this blog let me make it very clear that this is not about people asking questions because they love being in other peoples business, or those who are afraid to make decisions so the get overwhelmed with exploration but never move forward.
I want to encourage everyone to use the search engine on google as a tool for knowledge when it doesn’t require asking others.
But for those who must ask questions here is a simple model I found you can use: Powerful questions are provocative queries that put a halt to evasion and confusion. By asking the powerful question, these generally are open-ended questions that create greater possibility for expanded learning and fresh perspective.
Deep questions to ask are truly powerful.…Because, not only do these questions tell you a ton about a person, but these questions are (obviously) designed to start a deep conversation (and these can literally bond people for life).
Remember all questions don’t have to be serious. If you want to get to know someone in a relationship you can choose fun questions that lead to fun facts you may not find out if you never asked.
Although many people would rather make assumptions in life, there are those who are learning the art of asking the right questions. After all life is too short for us to be guessing and making up stories just because we feel awkward asking.
What is a fun question you have ever been asked, or asked someone?
He who ask a question is a fool for five minutes; He who does not ask a question remains a fool forever. ~ Proverb
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