Frustration knocks you into an emotional avalanche! Before you can think you are exploding and making a mess every where. Today I realized that there was some thing more dangerous than frustration and that is silent Frustration. My mind had been arrested with thoughts that I could not seem to shake, I felt as if I had been arrested and thrown into a jail cell. The warden of my thoughts would allow me to believe I was free only to be brought back to the same place of silent frustration. These overwhelming feelings were not new, it had been a long time since they visited me. I called myself handling the situations that came up, but to my dismay I felt powerless and vulnerable.
I awoke to a beautiful day! The sun was shining, I was feeling good, ready to move and get some things done. I prepared myself for my walk anticipating a peaceful time of release and renewal for my day ahead. As I walked I felt my mind overtaken by thoughts of negativity and these emotions that I just could not identify. I was feeling tense, upset and angry. It had not dawned on me I was dealing with that silent assassin called frustration. Where did it come from and why was I not able to shake this? My walking pace began to speed up and I could feel my adrenal rising, not because I was happy but getting mad. Then it hit me! I had been swallowing my disappointments rather than dealing with them honestly. Here I was with a pile of things that had built up and was causing me to be unbalanced. Kept walking faster as my mind raced between the different scenarios that had taken place over the past weeks. It was right in front of me now and I had to decide what to do. Most of the time I think talking about it is the answer; and some times it is. Then there are times I just need to talk to myself. Ask myself how did I get here? Why did I allow myself to think I was good? If disappointment had visited me, why did I ignore it as if I was ok? So many questions and I was determined to get answers.
My truth had hit me like a ton of bricks. I was living in Silent Frustration; one that brings high blood pressure, instability, irrational thinking and more. Still walking faster and challenging myself to go the extra mile, I decided quickly that I was going to walk away from this place of bondage. Allowing my thoughts to fully surface I dealt with them. I told myself it was not worth my peace, my health, my sleep, my joy or anything else to hold on the this frustration. I screamed from the inside out that I wanted freedom more than frustration. Because it was embedded in silence I had to open my mouth and speak my freedom. It was work. I kept envisioning myself walking into freedom! I cried. I declared freedom over my silence and kept walking. Within that hour of what would’ve been a normal routine I learned a lesson I am now sharing with you. As you read this, think about the things that you push down, submerge into your unconscious mind. Think about the many lies you told yourself. You wanted to be good, great and above the disappointments but you could not shake it. People are usually at the other end of our silent frustration. Some people we may be able to communicate with about the situation then there are others we dare not mention our feelings to. You must become free! You must not swallow that stifling annoying feeling of inadequacy to change something. No matter how long you have lived this way,it is time for change. You matter! Your health depends on it! Your relationships depend on your freedom.
For me, my freedom came in the form of walking out of and into. I no longer wanted to be the person who suffered silently or bottled the feelings of failure. Some things are out of my control and I accepted that. I can not be responsible for others and I accepted that. It was time for me to take back my power, peace and release the frustration. Now that I am free I want you to be as well. I hope after reading this, you will decide to walk into freedom. Every area of your life is affected and infected if you do not let go of silent frustration. Remember you deserve the best life possible and it begins with being free:)
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