Just Appetizers

The guy you fall in love with is perfect! He looks just like you dreamt, smells good, and has that caring, security piece we all look for as women.

No one can say anything against your man because you are his greatest defender!

Now you get married and you can’t believed this awesome guy choose you to be his wife. I feel so blessed plays over and over in your mind as you look at your new last name and the wedding pictures over the weeks to come.

Then one day life is forcing itself into your world like a gangster beating down your door to take all your happy days.

The perfect guy you married has flaws; he snores; he acts like you are his mom and even shows signs of not caring about the things you care about.

Some kind of way you missed all these negatives about your new husband and feel stupid that were tricked by all his charisma.

This was my story years ago, and I was angry.

I began to focus on the flaws, and weaknesses in my spouse so much I wondered why I married him.

Because of wrong thinking I became a real critic and found it very hard to give any complements to my husband.

Men need affirmation and they crave it from the woman in their life.

Well this chick had put her cheerleading outfit away and her pom-pom because I did not think he was worth a cheer.

Being negative affected our relationship, along with other challenges we were facing. My spouse would complain that I had nothing nice to say and he was right. I tried to stay quiet just because I had nothing nice to say.

In my heart I wanted to be a great wife who cheered on her man and made him feel like he was a super hero and walked on water. Then one day out of no where I was introduced to affirmation class 101

My husband came home one evening and I watched as the children ran to the door screaming those words every dad loves to hear coming home…”daddy, daddy’ daddy is home!!” They jumped and screamed and cheer for him as if he had made a touch down that brought home the gold trophy.

What happened next changed my way of thinking forever and made me see how wrong I had been doing things.

My husband, the father of my children knelt down and began to kiss and hug each child as if he had never hugged them before. He then spent quality time with them as they loved on him and he loved on them. This moment had happened often but this time it left me speechless and overwhelmed with emotions.

I was convicted in my heart by my actions towards my husband.

The formula for getting quality time, a husband who cared about my needs and just a nicer guy was all about a good attitude and affirmation.

It took me a moment to adjust my bad habits and wrong thinking, but seeing the children with their dad made me a believer.

I got my cheerleading outfit out along with my pom-pom and began to learn the cheers and techniques needed to be the loudest and most effective cheerleader my husband had. It was the fist lesson to many!!

Here are some key things I learned from my children:

1. My children showed great excitement when dad came home which created great expectation in him coming home.

2. My children were positive and affirming with their cheers and loving words, which drew my husband in and made him react.

3. With all the attention on dad when he came home it was easy for him to be home and be present

4. Every one gave him time after the greeting to relax

5. He was made the most important person in the room

6. Sometimes they even asked him what he wanted after coming in.

I was usually too busy, or distracted to care my husband was home. I wanted him to give me attention and help out with the children or things around the house. In order for my hubby to feel welcomed and warm towards me I use the same approach as the children and got a different response.

For some women it may not matter, but for me it did! I wanted my man home, happy and present. I wanted a husband who wanted to come home and not find 100 other things to do, hoping I was sleep when he got in:(

Some days I did well as a student in using the lessons I learned that day, but there are times I simply fail.

You are never too old to learn. Never too old to grow. Never too old to change. I hope after reading this blog it may encourage you to watch your children or others to learn how to improve your behavior.

Children have ways of teaching us things in the simplest ways. Perhaps your children have taught you a couple of things; I would love to hear them. Would you take the time and write me what you have learned:)